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Shattered to Empowered: Journey Through Narcissistic Abuse

Tricia Chandler
Tricia Chandler

When I glance back at the chapters of my life, it seemed like I had it all together on the surface. Yet, inside, the narrative was entirely different. For the longest time, there felt like an emptiness within me.

Only much later did I realize that it's not just what life throws at you, but what it withholds, and, importantly, the unconscious convictions you hold about yourself that shape the quality of your existence. From my earliest memories, I grappled with shyness, self-consciousness, a persistent fear of not belonging, and an unwavering belief that no matter how hard I tried, my efforts fell short.

Comparisons were a cruel companion—I'd observe others and yearn to inhabit their seemingly effortless lives. They appeared happier, more successful, as if they inherently deserved it, while I felt lacking.

I convinced myself that my life embodied happiness—I was married, had a family, a comfortable home, and enough resources. No arguments, no physical abuse—surely, I had it all. So why was I so adrift, unfulfilled? I knew my husband was restless and never satisfied. I blamed myself, believing his unhappiness was a result of my shortcomings. I strived relentlessly to be the perfect wife, but darkness enveloped me, and my struggles with anxiety, compulsive behaviors, and depression went unspoken, hidden behind a facade of contentment.

Confidence, self-trust—they eluded me. I lived without boundaries, constantly saying yes to please others, amplifying the critical, abusive voice in my mind. My marriage amplified this internal turmoil, yet I concealed my anguish, even from myself, believing I was unworthy and at fault for everything.

I married young, constantly uprooted for nearly four decades, isolated from loved ones. Only at the relationship's end did I unearth the layers of manipulation, emotional abuse, and the ultimate betrayal that exacerbated the emotional trauma. I became entirely reliant on him, lost within a distorted reality that he constructed.

As the marriage concluded, I was consumed by relentless negative thoughts, grappling with an identity I no longer recognized. His abrupt, heartless abandonment of me finally unveiled the extent of my pain, awakening me to the depths of my suffering.

I was shattered. Desperate to escape the agony, I contemplated ending my life, believing I couldn't



exist without my abuser—a terrifying notion. Yet, amid the darkness, faint glimmers of hope emerged. These small steps, each monumental in their own right, led me on a journey of personal healing.

Today, I specialize in guiding others through their own paths of liberation and transformation after narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. I help them dismantle outdated beliefs, harnessing the incredible power of our minds. By addressing core wounds of abandonment, rejection, and inadequacy, I've witnessed the remarkable turnaround in every aspect of my own life—relationships, finances, career, self-love—everything, and I now guide my clients through this harrowing journey of self discovery.

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Tricia Chandler Rapid Transformational Therapy and Coaching

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